First Light
by Palatyne
Summary: She no longer feared the darkness. Once, she had thought she would embrace it, that she would live an endless night...But that was long ago...


**First Light**

By Palatyne

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Twilight series of novels. The original story, characters, plot and extras belong to Stephenie Meyer, publishing rights to Little Brown and Company, .

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**First Light**

by Palatyne

There was supposed to be a full moon, but the thick clouds took away any chance of seeing it. She could only see its veiled brightness through the clouds passing over it, glowing silver in the dark sky.

There was a distinct chill in the air, the biting thaw of spring. She would've shivered every time a breeze swept through their small porch, but she had a source of heat cradled close to her, pulsing like a portable little furnace.

She pushed her toes against the floorboards to get the swing moving, eager for the warmth to waft around her.

She could hear the gentle crash of small waves against the pebble shore not far from the house, but she could not see it. The light from the porch could only go so far.

All around were the forests and the mountains whose shadows crawled dangerously close. Where the forests ended there was only the dark expanse of the sea.

She no longer feared the darkness. Once, she had thought she would embrace it, that she would live an endless night.

But that was long ago. Tonight, despite the absent moon she was amidst a warm pool of light, the darkness was around her but never reaching her.

She felt like she was waiting for something, though she knew better than to do so. It was not her decision to make, after all.

Yet still she was there, scanning the surroundings with her frail human eyes, straining her ears for the slightest sounds.

A stirring close to her chest, a soft gurgle broke into her thoughts. She shifted her arms, rearranging her makeshift cradle.

"Shhhhh…"She whispered soothingly.

Then a sound not unlike the chime of crystals came from the darkness.

"Bella."

For a split second she felt her throat tighten and her lips part as if to scream, in that instant she froze, her heart missing a beat.

But an old instinct restrained her.

She turned towards the sound, her face a mask of calm.

He stood at the other end of the porch, half-hidden by the shadows, half-bathed by the light – tall and graceful even in his stillness.

For a moment she lost all sense of time and place. The image of him was familiar, too much of an old life that it was unsettling. She looked at him standing in front of her and saw him in a million different ways, in a million different memories – in the rain across a parking lot, under the shade of ancient trees at the edge of a sunlit meadow, sparkling under the full glory of the sun against the stones of an ancient city.

He looked exactly, painfully the same.

"Alice." He said, amused and accusing at the same time.

She fixed a wry smile on her face. "She had to warn me. I think she had a vision of me dying of a heart attack."

A soft chuckle.

"So I wasn't that undecided after all."

Through the shadows, she thought she saw his head tilt slightly, his perfect features suddenly rapt with interest.

He was staring at her.

Then slowly, at a human pace, he crossed the few paces between them, until he was but a few feet from her.

"He is dreaming."

She started at his words, surprised, though she should not have been. It was a gift of his which she knew all to well.

He was no longer looking at her, but at the quilt-wrapped bundle in her arms with a familiar look of intense concentration.

"Of what?" She was curious, fascinated by the fact.

"Of you, mostly, and his father. And food." He spoke the last with a hint of amusement.

"Food! Does that mean he's hungry?"

"Possibly."

"Right on schedule, then." She laughed quietly.

Without realizing it she had begun rocking the cradled bundle in her arms, her attention drawn away.

She did not know how long it was before he spoke again.

"You made the right choice," He paused for a long moment. "But I was selfish enough to hope."

He spoke the words evenly, gently, seemingly without emotion.

But she caught it, the echo of an ancient sadness that she had heard from him long ago.

She had resisted looking at his face the entire time, not knowing what she would see, not knowing what she would feel – not knowing, fearing that she would suddenly fall to pieces once more.

She raised her eyes to meet his.

He smiled at her, his crooked smile.

But his eyes were blank, empty.

Then he was gone.

Out into the night, into the darkness where she could no longer see.

The long-forgotten wound inside her began to throb. She grew still, fearing it would suddenly rip open and seize her with that dreaded pain.

She braced herself.

But it never came.

Instead there was only a faint ache, like an echo of a cry that almost soundless, as if coming from a great distance – the distance of lost time.

Silently, she allowed herself to cry. Her sobs were silent, gentle. They were not the tears of parting, or the tears of regret.

The shadows of her past were gone.

She had long since found the sun.

After a while the tears stopped coming, and she knew then they would never again.

A sudden gust of warmth hit her even before she even saw the massive bulk leaning against the doorway, shirtless, impervious to the cold.

"_He_ was here."

"Yes." She smiled at him, a true smile.

His brows furrowed slightly. He was holding back a frown.

"Bella?"

"He was just passing through."

She reassured him, there was nothing for him to worry about. Alice's words now echoed loudly in her mind.

"_I no longer see you in our future."_

She made the choice a long time ago.

They all did.

She would no longer look back.

In her arms her son was squirming, ready once more to awake and be fed. She clutched him tighter against her, hoping his warmth would drive away the chill that had swept through her.

She held out her free hand to her husband.

"Jake?"

He took it gently into his.

Comforted, she turned her gaze towards the distant sky over the horizon, hoping once more to see the moon.

But it was gone.

The darkness was now fading to the cool indigo of twilight. Soon the sky would be streaked and bathed with a million shades of brightness. Water would mirror sky, the ripples and waves volleying each patch of light until the entire sea would glitter with the rays of first light.

"The sun will rise soon." He warned with the certainty of his heightened senses.

Squeezing his hand, she turned to look at him.

"It already did."

-FIN-


End file.
